With a new year we almost bound by media laws to produce some sort of list of predictions for the coming year. Much like “giving a monkey a shower” on Phineas and Ferb, it has to be done. ( If you get that, I applaud you for your fine viewing habits )

So, keeping in mind that these predictions must be both bold and brave, here goes. We’ll check back this time 2013 and see how close we got.

12.  In March, Lubbock’s Tent City will incorporate. Tent City will then vote itself wet, and further drive down beer and liquor prices in the Hubbaplex. Seeing the huge success of Tent City, Lakeridge will secede from Lubbock, incorporate and name itself “GeorgeBushStickersStillOnOurTahoes”. It too will get wet, but only from 9-to-midnight at Market Street and only for the Methodists. Cards will be issued.

11.  Texas Tech Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt will find the secret panel on the desk in his office that Gerald Myers had installed years ago. Inside the panel Hocutt will find a book revealing all the secrets in the last 75 years regarding Texas Tech Athletics. Artifacts will include the pictures Bob Knight had on David Schmidly, a letter from Mike Leach to Donald Trump admitting he made up all the stuff about liking pirates just because it sounded better than telling folks what he really enjoyed was puffy, white shirts as well as the post-it note containing Jerry Moore’s play-book. Hocutt will find the actual number to Chad Glasgow’s cell phone the most interesting part of all. Turns out they’d entered it into the company directory wrong after-all. . . what a misunderstanding.

10.  Tommy Tuberville will mention the wind blowing during spring practice at Texas Tech and still somehow manage to sound shocked and amazed.

9.  Texas Tech Lady Raider Head Coach Kristy Curry will replace the phrase, “it is what it is” with, “I told you I could coach, now start coming to the games and supporting these kids-they’re damn good!”.

8.  Jerry Jones will do what he’s always wanted to do. In July he’ll announced he’s cloned himself and will serve as both Cowboys head coach and quarterback for 2012. With Jones leading the team the Cowboys fall one game shy of the Super Bowl losing in the NFC Championship game to Washington. The Tony Romo-led Redskins complete a 21-point comeback in the 4th quarter on a Romo to Daniel Snyder TD pass.

7.  Someone, anyone, will finally notice that a gallon of orange juice costs more than a gallon of gas and that oranges actually do grow on trees and don’t require drilling for dead dinosaur guts. . .

6.  Roger Goodell will suspend James Harrison 3 games and fine him Bolivia for slapping Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger too hard on the rump after a pre-season scoring drive.

5.  Dan Beebe will return to be the commissioner of the Big 12 after changing his name and sneaking past the hiring committee of Deloss Dodds, Deloss Dodds id, ego and super ego. The interview will be televised on The Longhorn Network to the delight of its subscriber, Mrs. Dodds. Upon his return to the Big 12, Beebe will announce that he’s invading the SEC in an attempt to regain Texas A&M and Missouri. Beebe’s forces advance as far as the hotel ballroom at SEC Media Days before being rebuffed by the hotel kitchen staff, all former SEC defensive players, proving once again the Big 12 can’t handle real defenses. . .

4.  The Texas Rangers Cy Young winner Yu Darvish will announce he hasn’t understood a damn thing Ron Washington said all year and that he’s demanding a trade to be with his homie and soul-mate, Ozzie Guillen ( the only one who really gets me, Darvish tells Eric Nadel in a gut-wrenching interview )

3.  Keith Olbermann will finally quit calling Dan Patrick late at night asking if he wants to come over and play, “read the teleprompter”.

2.  NASCAR Sprint Cup Champion Tony Stewart will go vegan. Repulsed, Andy Lally orders a steak and says the hell with it…

1.  On December 31, 2012 Dick Clark will be wondering once again why he even bothers to do this thing if it means working with Justin Bieber and Ryan Seacrest. His New Year’s Resolution for 2013–Host the Rockin’ New Year’s Eve on The Playboy Channel–life’s too short–even if you’re 112 years old!

Happy New Year y’all. Be safe and make the most of it. It should be a grand one!

Hyatt

Getting ready for the show today and I’ve got a few thoughts rambling around my head. Obviously Tim Tebow is a news-generator and for some a polarizing figure. I get that. What I don’t get is why some want to see him fail. After watching New England’s defense finally decide to tackle a few folks in the second half of their 41-23 win over Denver it didn’t take long for the posts on Facebook and the twitter traffic to begin to flow with thoughts of how this somehow “Proved” Tebow wasn’t “all that” as one wrote.

Why are so many so focused on taking joy in Tim Tebow’s team not winning? Why do they feel the need to see him lose in order to prove something about their own lives?

I also don’t buy it when I hear folks say they like Tebow but hate the media for all the coverage. I’ve been doing a daily call-in show for 17 years now and during that whole time I’ve heard the laments of those that hate the thug elements in sports, that can’t stand the glorification of “deviant” life-styles and a mocking of traditional values.

Well, a guy comes along that seems pretty decent and now folks don’t want to hear about it.

Interesting.

I think the reaction that folks have to a Tim Tebow-like celeb is more telling about themselves than anything about the media or Tebow. For some reason seeing a person like Tebow have success seems to make some feel either inadequate or less of a person than they either see themselves as or want to be known as. When he “fails” then they can laugh and say that,”see, even the Great Tim Tebow didn’t win with all the good he does and the character he has!” as if it somehow absolves them from their own failings.

It is an odd reaction to watch and I’m interested in what y’all are taking away from the “Tim Tebow Phenomenon” right now. Are you one that is upset with the attention he get? Do you think he is over-hyped, whatever that may mean or do you also think part of this is a reflection of a modern American society that doesn’t always want the “good guy” to win if he somehow makes them feel bad for their own lives?

Let me know.

Ryan Hyatt

And the question is:

Tonight we want to know the all-time great QB’s that you still rank ahead of Colts QB Peyton Manning. Is he ahead or behind Joe Montana on your list? What about Dallas Cowboy greats Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach? Where does Manning stack up against Terry Bradshaw or even Tom Brady?

You can post your answers here on the site and call-in tonight from 3-6 on SportsRadio 1340 The Fan!

HYATT

We were going to release this on New Year’s Eve, but with all the madcap zaniness surrounding the firing of Mike Leach we decided to wait a few days, and in fact tweak the list up a bit to account for current events. Feel free to add your own predictions to the bottom of the page! Remember, Mr. Hyatt is not board certified as an oracle, see-er, predictor of events or a wizard. Some folks can and do lose money. Make sure any predictions are right for you and your family before taking and always consult a doctor.

1. Texas Tech and Mike Leach will settle out of court with very few details coming out about what precipitated his firing. Both sides will claim victory. Leach will walk away with about 1.2 million dollars. ESPN will devote two days of specials to the impact of standing in dark rooms on college football players and what President Obama should do about it.
2. Vice President Joe Biden will resign citing health concerns in order to set-up a battle with Hilary Clinton for the Democrat nomination. Oprah will take his place in the Obama administration.
3. Lubbock voters will decide they no longer need or want a mayor or city council members and will refuse to vote anyone into office in May. There will be no noticeable differences in City services or leadership for several years.
4. Texas Tech’s new football coach will achieve great popularity when he tells fans after winning in College Station that it just isn’t a big deal to win down here anymore and that the Aggie tradition just ain’t all that anymore.
5. Nolan Ryan will take over as manager of the Texas Rangers at the All-Star break. Texas pitchers will be placed on a pitch-count. Starters will not be taken out of any game before they reach 120 pitches no matter what.
6. The Lubbock Avalanche-Journal will cease printing on weekdays, going online only. The world won’t end, their profit margin will go up and readers will be better served.
7. Dallas Cowboys will win a play-off game.
8. Texas Tech football players will vote each game via Facebook and Twitter who they want to coach them that particular week.
9. Israel will bomb Iran’s nuclear facilities with U.S. backing and oil will climb to 125 dollars a barrel. People will gripe for a while, say they’ll drive less, Boone Pickens will be on TV too much and then by the end of the year things will be back to normal.
10. Tim Tebow will be drafted by the Oakland Raiders, convince Al Davis to give up control of the team, hire Urban Meyer and begin a 20-year run as the top sports franchise in the world helping lead to the eradication of hunger world-wide.

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